After getting SO VERY CLOSE to being cast on season 8, 9, and 10 of the hit reality
TV show, The Biggest Loser, I realized a lot of things about myself. The most important being, how much I desperately want and need this. "This" being a healthy, whole, functional body.

My blog is intended to help me get accountable. Accountable to EVERYONE, family, friends, complete strangers and ultimately MYSELF. I have over 400lbs to loose in order to gain the FABULOUS life I was born to lead!!

I am SO EXCITED, nervous, embarrassed and determined. I will REJOICE with you in my accomplishments and confess to you any "falling off the wagon" I might do. I encourage EVERYONE to get out there and tell your friends about this blog. The more people that read and comment, the more accountable I create for myself! This is one of the HUGE aspects I love about the show. I would NOT have let America down! Now I just have to create my OWN America!! Post your own accomplishments, encouragement, questions, doubts etc. This blog is here for you too! Let's get this ball rolling! WE GOT THIS!!

Day one starts with "Dollar Store Lettuce..." click that red link, and then scroll past this intro. :)

Monday, February 15, 2010

WOW! 2010 is gonna ROCK!!!

I have been meaning to write this post for a long, LONG time. But I just haven't found the time, had the energy, mustered the motivation blah blah blah.... SOOO many things have been happening on a daily basis, it's been hard to keep up. Part of my new regime is to be more "Organized" with my time, one might suggest I actually set aside time for blogging each day! GASP! Maybe I will!! On with the news!!

So the last time I wrote was mid December. I was in a pretty bad funk. I had been trying out for an ABC show that casting was sure I was a shoe-in for. The network went in a different direction and I didn't get cast. It happens. In an evil bout of irony, right after I got the word that the show was a no go, I also got laid off from my job. When it rains, it POURS!

I was pretty down for a few days, but what I finally realized was, only _I_ can control my destiny. I have been waiting WAY too long to take on MY OWN LIFE!!

Well, my whole life was about to change.

My FAVORITE quote has always been:

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way." (W.H Murray: The Scottish Himalaya Expedition)

The most meaningful and enlightening part of the passage, for me, is in bold. I ALWAYS believed the MOMENT I TRULY committed myself to getting healthy and earning back my life, every manner of support, assistance and events would follow suit to help me on my way. The hesitancy I experienced, starting diet after diet and always failing to some degree, let me know that total and utter commitment were lacking on my part. The task I was taking on was SO huge, I needed to be JUST as huge with my intention if I was going to overcome and succeed.

So back to the end of December 2009. At the bottom of my barrel. Depressed, lonely, unhealthy, unorganized, unkempt and just down right pitiful. It all finally clicked, It was up to me! I was the ONLY one who could change this!

I'd HAD ENOUGH!! I was DONE! Poke a friggin fork in me and lets call it Thanksgiving! DONE, DONE, DONE!!!

I knew the most important place to start was with my weight. I knew I could apply and interview for job after job. But I likely would never be hired. People take one look at me and think L-A-Z-Y. Let's say they actually listen to me and realize I am fabulous! Then the next thing they think is: "Hmmm, she is certainly going to raise our insurance rates, and I know I am going to have to fork over a lot of money for a chair" These are hard thoughts to overcome when I only have a little time to impress someone in an interview. I knew that I needed to lose weight simply for the boost in confidence, let alone the improvement in appearance.

With encouragement from my friend and Casting Director, I decided that while I was looking for work, I was also going to find a personal trainer. Someone that believed in me and would be willing to push me daily to be a healthier person. I didn't have any money, the only thing I could offer this individual is me. My story, and hopefully somehow, my example would attract people into their business. I could only rely on Karma to pay my debt.

Through a stroke of fate, my Dr. referred me to The Body Lab, in Spring, Texas. He had been training with them for a few months. I talked to the owner Jehramy that afternoon, and before I could even finish he was ALL OVER IT!! His energy and enthusiasm was AMAZING! I made an apt to start the following Monday, hung up the phone and bawled. At that VERY moment, I knew I would never be fat again. It was all so clear. My life as a depressed, angry but bubbly fat lady was finally coming to a close.

Through Jehramy's network, I was introduced to Real Meals 365, who offer individually packaged meals. They use 100% natural ingredients. All their meals are prepared in accordance with "Dr. Sears' Zone Diet". They have GENEROUSLY donated all my meals and snacks, as well as access to their dietitian for advice on eating out and off of their plan when the occasion arises. The food is FANTASTIC and so super clean! I can't believe how well I feel, just after a few short weeks.

I have been working with Jehramy and Keeon for about 3 weeks now. 5 of those days though, I spent in the hospital. I ended up with a rectal abscess! (YAY!! lol) and had to have emergency surgery. THANK THE LORD that my insurance still had 4 days until it lapsed!! But they guys haven't given up on me, nor have they accepted any of my lame ass excuses. LOL! Thank heaven! I have learned to ENJOY going to the gym! I am working with them one on one 3 days a week, and getting 30 mins to an hour of cardio in the other 3 days. I feel SO much stronger!!! (more about that in the next post)

Amazingly enough, since being released from the hospital on February 1st, I have lost a total of 27.2 lbs!!!!! I can't believe all the wonderful things that are happening!!! People have been showing up to help me left and right. I am SO incredibly blessed. I FINALLY know I am committed, simply because of the things coming my way.

If you are not following me on FaceBook, please add my Weight-Loss Page. I post there a couple times a day. I also post on Twitter. :)

Thank you ALL for the support and encouragement! We have a LONG road a head of us, but it's going to be a fun one!!!



  1. I am so thankful that you are witnessing and experiencing the Tender Mercies of the Lord. I am proud of you for moving forward... what have you done today to make you feel proud?! A LOT!! Love you girl.. I am rooting for you and praying for you! You've got a fight ahead of you but if you keep everything in perspective.. you've got it made!
    Meg Gazaway

  2. I don't have as much to lose as you do, but I do have a lot to lose & have struggled too. I'm doing better now. I just joined your FB & Twitter pages & added myself to follow you here. I have my own "healthy life" blog that you're welcome to check out - - I've been doing much better at updating it lately!

  3. Hey!!! Sounds like you are off to a good start in 2010- now that you are out of the hospital.

    Keep up the good work!

    I am with you... took me SO long to get it together, but once I did, it got a lot easier. Like I broke old habits.

    Later... going to get another piece of pizza. lol!!!!

    Oh- and P.S- please tell everyone about my blog. www.Thanks!!!!

  4. Congratulations on starting to get healthy!!! It is definitely a great decision!!! I will keep you in my prayers!!!