Have you ever been tired of being tired? Well, that's where I am now. It's not pretty. Things have been pretty stressful lately. I have tried to steer clear of eating in order to cope. I have done pretty well. A few slip ups here and there, but overall pretty successful.
I am just tired of running (or rolling) around in my hamster wheel. I feel like I try and try and try and try and get NO WHERE! Something has GOT to change, but at this point I am not sure what. I realize that I am just in a funk, it will pass, but this one has me worried. I am so tired. It's funny how this funky attitude of mine comes along right around the time casting starts to finish up on a show I am trying for. (can't give any details. Sorry.) lol
I am not a quitter, and I have decided in the last few days what I need to do is get back to basics. Concentrate on what's important now. That is my relationship with ME. _I_ am the ONLY one that can change my life. Not my husband, not my parents, not some show, not some celebrity trainer...I have to count on ME. That scares the CRAP out of me!!!! Maybe I don't trust myself enough??
I strayed A LOT from drinking water, so 3 days ago I got back on that wagon. Been doing at least a gallon a day since. I have quite a bit more energy. Go figure!
I am heading to the grocery store. I think I might try to live off avocados for the next month. They are on sale. lol KIDDING!! Wait...am I?? I am just going to concentrate on the water and no fast food again. I still am doing well in that no fast food department, although, I have had a hard time with it since the weekend. So I will be nipping that in the bud, right now.
Maybe tomorrow I can get myself out for a walk. I should probably talk to the DR. about getting on an anitdepressant too. I took a little quiz over at Web MD and evidently....I am super depressed. LOL! You wouldn't guess it looking at me. Or maybe you would! Who knows. I am going to wait a bit on that though. My good friend Rebecca Overson, from way back, has just got in contact with me, and would like to bring me on as a client of hers. She's a Clarity Coach; a "personal trainer for the soul" if you will. Goodness knows I didn't get to be over 550lbs by being clear minded. So I am SO SUPER excited to start working with her. I will keep you guys posted on our progress.
Hope you are doing well. Thanks SO much for reading. I promise to write more often.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Who Needs Salt!? Not I!!
Okay, so maybe we all need a LITTLE sodium. But one thing I have figured out is that I don't need NEARLY as much as I was giving myself!!! For the last two weeks, I have been CRAZY about watching my sodium intake. Not going over the RDA. I can't TELL you how much of a difference this has made with my swelling and breathing. HELLOO!! Why didn't I think of this sooner!
No gimmicks, sweat, tears or anything terribly taxing. Just watching my salt.
Seems like the next step will be, ahem...going to the, um....GYM on Friday! AHHHHH! THAT is something that I am sure tears, sweat and maybe a gimmick or two will be involved it. That's right Jaime. You heard me. Galleria 24hr fitness here I come. Please have the treadmill cleared of any donut crumbs before I get there. No carbo-loading for me!!
No gimmicks, sweat, tears or anything terribly taxing. Just watching my salt.
Seems like the next step will be, ahem...going to the, um....GYM on Friday! AHHHHH! THAT is something that I am sure tears, sweat and maybe a gimmick or two will be involved it. That's right Jaime. You heard me. Galleria 24hr fitness here I come. Please have the treadmill cleared of any donut crumbs before I get there. No carbo-loading for me!!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Veeta, Vita, Vegimuns!
Hi all!!
Things are going really well! I have lost a lot of weight, I am estimating at least 30lbs. I am not sure though, as I do not have access to a scale that goes up to my weight. The scale at weight watchers did, but I had to cancel my membership there due to financial reasons. :( I have THOUGHT about calling up my Meeting Leader and seeing if they would just let me weigh myself once a month. No meetings or anything just weighing in. We will see! I have got to find a scale!!
The last month I concentrated on NOT eating fast food. I have had a terrible addiction of binging on fast food once a day, sometimes twice. So the decision to really focus on the root of my problem made sense to me. I wasn't going to worry about WHAT I ate, just as long as it wasn't fast food. I did end up having it about once a week though, still A HUGE VICTORY!!
Along with cutting out fast food, I had another goal: to cook at home, something I NEVER do. I don't enjoy it, it's painful to stand over a counter and cut veggies, stir pots and wait for water to boil! I started by cooking foods that I LOVE. They were not the best for me, but the thought of eating them when I was done, was enough to keep me moving through the painful preparation. Things like beef stroganoff, potato soup, lasagna, meat loaf etc. I did use things like lower fat milk and cheeses, lower sodium canned soups etc.
I did that for about 2 weeks, I felt good that I had stuck to my goal, but I was still tired and bloated. I decided to go to the Dr. I had blood work done last week and we discovered that I was literally malnourished. Seriously!! I ensured the doctor that I was eating! OBVIOUSLY not eating substantial foods and he suggested an over-the-counter multi vitamin. I went with plain old Centrum, but I got the liquid version and have been taking it with a small amount of orange juice in the morning. I am TERRIBLE about eating breakfast, but I understand how important this meal is, so I bought some Ensure with the intention of at least getting SOMETHING in my stomach in the morning. I have been on this regime for about 4 days now and feel INCREDIBLE! I have SOO much more energy!
This weekend I stocked up on some good veggies I like. Good spinach and red leaf lettuce, tomatoes, avocados, baked potatoes, sweet potatoes, apples, green peppers etc. I have been working those into my diet as well.
I have found that making these small changes in my habits and lifestyle have really affected me in a grand way! I am hoping that because the changes are so small, that I will be able to integrate and maintain them on a permanent basis! I know that these little changes now, will be magnified 10 fold down the road, all I have to do is keep running (or walking) down the road!! :)
Things are going really well! I have lost a lot of weight, I am estimating at least 30lbs. I am not sure though, as I do not have access to a scale that goes up to my weight. The scale at weight watchers did, but I had to cancel my membership there due to financial reasons. :( I have THOUGHT about calling up my Meeting Leader and seeing if they would just let me weigh myself once a month. No meetings or anything just weighing in. We will see! I have got to find a scale!!
The last month I concentrated on NOT eating fast food. I have had a terrible addiction of binging on fast food once a day, sometimes twice. So the decision to really focus on the root of my problem made sense to me. I wasn't going to worry about WHAT I ate, just as long as it wasn't fast food. I did end up having it about once a week though, still A HUGE VICTORY!!
Along with cutting out fast food, I had another goal: to cook at home, something I NEVER do. I don't enjoy it, it's painful to stand over a counter and cut veggies, stir pots and wait for water to boil! I started by cooking foods that I LOVE. They were not the best for me, but the thought of eating them when I was done, was enough to keep me moving through the painful preparation. Things like beef stroganoff, potato soup, lasagna, meat loaf etc. I did use things like lower fat milk and cheeses, lower sodium canned soups etc.
I did that for about 2 weeks, I felt good that I had stuck to my goal, but I was still tired and bloated. I decided to go to the Dr. I had blood work done last week and we discovered that I was literally malnourished. Seriously!! I ensured the doctor that I was eating! OBVIOUSLY not eating substantial foods and he suggested an over-the-counter multi vitamin. I went with plain old Centrum, but I got the liquid version and have been taking it with a small amount of orange juice in the morning. I am TERRIBLE about eating breakfast, but I understand how important this meal is, so I bought some Ensure with the intention of at least getting SOMETHING in my stomach in the morning. I have been on this regime for about 4 days now and feel INCREDIBLE! I have SOO much more energy!
This weekend I stocked up on some good veggies I like. Good spinach and red leaf lettuce, tomatoes, avocados, baked potatoes, sweet potatoes, apples, green peppers etc. I have been working those into my diet as well.
I have found that making these small changes in my habits and lifestyle have really affected me in a grand way! I am hoping that because the changes are so small, that I will be able to integrate and maintain them on a permanent basis! I know that these little changes now, will be magnified 10 fold down the road, all I have to do is keep running (or walking) down the road!! :)
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Just a quick note!
Hellooo!!
Friday was my birthday: 35 years old! It's a landmark birthday and a WHOLE new start on life! I have never been this confident before in my journey! I am actually really excited!
Been working on a few things! Doing well with this whole "no fast food deal". Working from home has been a BLESSING in SOOO many ways! I have the energy to keep up with the house, AND have discovered that I am actually too lazy to be bothered to GO OUT and GET fast food! lol Evidently, it's an addiction of convenience! Instead, I have been making all kinds of random things I find in the kitchen, just to get me in the habit of cooking from home. So far so good! I could NOT believe how much money was left over in my bank account last week! I was SO happy!!
Tomorrow I am going to look through some cookbooks and find REAAAAALLLY easy recipes that I would like to try. Some of the "meals" I've been cooking have come out GHASTLY! Bobby Flay would be very disappointed in my culinary (lack of) prowess! There have GOT to be some super simple meals I can cook. I am pretty sure ANYTHING will taste GREAT when I rely on the people that CREATED them and not my own devices!
Heading to the store tomorrow: stocking up on produce, proteins, and ingredients for the couple recipes I decide on. I am also going to be going back on Dr. Natura's Colonix. I have a bit left over from a year ago, and will be ordering more in about a week. Check it out. The stuff is amazing...more on that later though.
Here are a pair of sneakers I am saving up to buy!
I wear flip flops ALL the time because my feet are so dang swollen, other shoes hurt or down right just don't fit. These are super wide and supportive. So I am excited to get them!! Walking in flip flops or the ill fitting sneaks I do have is just not an option, my arches are KILLING me!!
I am taking donations though! lol
Friday was my birthday: 35 years old! It's a landmark birthday and a WHOLE new start on life! I have never been this confident before in my journey! I am actually really excited!
Been working on a few things! Doing well with this whole "no fast food deal". Working from home has been a BLESSING in SOOO many ways! I have the energy to keep up with the house, AND have discovered that I am actually too lazy to be bothered to GO OUT and GET fast food! lol Evidently, it's an addiction of convenience! Instead, I have been making all kinds of random things I find in the kitchen, just to get me in the habit of cooking from home. So far so good! I could NOT believe how much money was left over in my bank account last week! I was SO happy!!
Tomorrow I am going to look through some cookbooks and find REAAAAALLLY easy recipes that I would like to try. Some of the "meals" I've been cooking have come out GHASTLY! Bobby Flay would be very disappointed in my culinary (lack of) prowess! There have GOT to be some super simple meals I can cook. I am pretty sure ANYTHING will taste GREAT when I rely on the people that CREATED them and not my own devices!
Heading to the store tomorrow: stocking up on produce, proteins, and ingredients for the couple recipes I decide on. I am also going to be going back on Dr. Natura's Colonix. I have a bit left over from a year ago, and will be ordering more in about a week. Check it out. The stuff is amazing...more on that later though.
Here are a pair of sneakers I am saving up to buy!
I wear flip flops ALL the time because my feet are so dang swollen, other shoes hurt or down right just don't fit. These are super wide and supportive. So I am excited to get them!! Walking in flip flops or the ill fitting sneaks I do have is just not an option, my arches are KILLING me!!
I am taking donations though! lol
Friday, August 14, 2009
One good week down, MANY more to go!!
This week has been a good week!! I managed to get my butt to the grocery store and get a chicken! Not the fried kind, mind you, but the "better" kind that goes for a spin in that yummy looking oven before it hits my plate. I seriously could pull up a chair, and sit there in front of that oven, basking in the sultry warmth emanating from the chickeny "Merry-go-round". Who needs a fire place to set a mood. Just slap a HUGE chicken rotisserie in my living room and call it a "night in" for me!! Mmmmm...
ANYWAY! I bought a chicken, lots of veggies, avocado, corn tortillas and had myself LOTS of food for the week. Now that I think about it...HOLY COW!! I haven't had fast food in 5 days!!! I didn't even REALIZE IT!! I seriously just had to go check my bank account to see when the last debit transaction was! YAY ME!!! Well, I guess all I have to do in order to beat the fast food addiction is have a big bag of Avocados on hand!! (I did eat 6 avocado's in the last 5 days. lol) YAY!!
I need to go fill up our big water bottles. I have had almost 0 water. I know, I know... Preparation is the key...CLEARLY!! I will go fill up the bottles tomorrow, I promise!!
Is there anything YA'LL would like me to write about?? Tell me what you think!! :)
I am off for the night! Make it a good one!
ANYWAY! I bought a chicken, lots of veggies, avocado, corn tortillas and had myself LOTS of food for the week. Now that I think about it...HOLY COW!! I haven't had fast food in 5 days!!! I didn't even REALIZE IT!! I seriously just had to go check my bank account to see when the last debit transaction was! YAY ME!!! Well, I guess all I have to do in order to beat the fast food addiction is have a big bag of Avocados on hand!! (I did eat 6 avocado's in the last 5 days. lol) YAY!!
I need to go fill up our big water bottles. I have had almost 0 water. I know, I know... Preparation is the key...CLEARLY!! I will go fill up the bottles tomorrow, I promise!!
Is there anything YA'LL would like me to write about?? Tell me what you think!! :)
I am off for the night! Make it a good one!
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Lesson's from Kristin with an I...
One of my biggest heroes has been Biggest Loser 7 contestant Kristin Steede. She has such a sunny and bright attitude! I LOVED watching her transformation, how she always played the game with such integrity through her struggles and triumphs! Her sassy humor and nack for expressing herself had me enthralled each and every Tuesday night!
A couple of weeks ago, Kristin posted a thought provoking story on her blog (www.kristinsteede.com) It was a "write your own ending" of sorts. The evening of her post was the end to one of the hardest days of my life. I had hit rock bottom emotionally, physically, and financially. I haven't been that low in a long time. I am usually a VERY sunny person! Always positive and ready with a smile! But months and months of keeping up that sunny disposition had finally gotten to me, and as I wrote a check for the mortgage, which left $3 in my checking account for the next two weeks, I broke down. No longer able to keep a smile on my face.
I would like to paste here the post she had published, along with my comment I left on her blog that night. It's a defining moment in my life, that has gotten me back on this wagon, and taking the pot holes one bump at a time.
Please read Kristin's blog, it is VERY inspiring!
www.kristinsteede.com
Here is her post:
_______________________________________
JULY 27, 2009
A couple of weeks ago, Kristin posted a thought provoking story on her blog (www.kristinsteede.com) It was a "write your own ending" of sorts. The evening of her post was the end to one of the hardest days of my life. I had hit rock bottom emotionally, physically, and financially. I haven't been that low in a long time. I am usually a VERY sunny person! Always positive and ready with a smile! But months and months of keeping up that sunny disposition had finally gotten to me, and as I wrote a check for the mortgage, which left $3 in my checking account for the next two weeks, I broke down. No longer able to keep a smile on my face.
I would like to paste here the post she had published, along with my comment I left on her blog that night. It's a defining moment in my life, that has gotten me back on this wagon, and taking the pot holes one bump at a time.
Please read Kristin's blog, it is VERY inspiring!
www.kristinsteede.com
Here is her post:
_______________________________________
JULY 27, 2009
Finish the story…
So imagine it is Sunday night and you are planning for this exciting new adventure. You have thought about it for years, you have finally planned for it and now you are ready to go! Tomorrow you and your closest family and friends are going to get on this wagon and go to a place you have always dreamed of. A place where you fit in. A place where you can be yourself. A place where you know you will be happy. It is a place you really want to be.
Now you are riding on this wagon and you are cruising along. You are happy, you are committed to the long ride, you are obeying the rules of the road. Things are good. All sudden you see something up ahead…what could it be? Oh my, that is your good friend Betty! She started on this trip with you but it appears she has fallen off of her wagon! Being the good friend you are, you stop your wagon, hop off and visit with Betty for a bit. Deep down inside you know that you have to get going. You have to get back on your wagon or you are never going to get to your destination.
There you are, back on your wagon again and suddenly you start hitting some bumps in the road. These bumps are really slowing you down and it is SO FRUSTRATING! In this bumpy stretch of road there are so many people who have fallen off of their wagons. Are you going to let these bumps stop you from getting to your destination or are you going to ride these bumps out until you hit smooth road again? You have to keep going despite how bumpy the road gets or you are never going to get to where you want to be…what do you do?
***This is the point where you take over! Finish the story. Write it down here. If you were riding on your wagon but hit a bumpy road and fell off tell me how your story ends. YOU are the ONLY one who can write your story. (There is a deep message in that sentence) You are the only one who can decide how much time you spend on the side of a bumpy road while all of these other wagons pass you by.
And my comment...
KristinWow girl… I know I joked that you should blog about our “boy” Ronnie. But man. I needed this.
I TOTALLY had an emotional and mental breakdown today. My road has been SOOOOO bumpy these last couple months. But I kept on going, with a smile, like I always do. Today, it was as if I hit a pot hole, man hole, or sink hole, SOMETHING huge!
I was supposed to meet my mother at the grocery store so we could shop together, just for some “girl time”. Instead I just sat in her car and wept for almost an hour with her.
Almost 600 lbs am I. It’s starting to feel like the bumps in my road are getting too tough to handle. But I know all I have to do is take the road ONE bump at a time. Looking down the road, it can be OVERWHELMING to see all those bumps in my way. But really, the ONLY bump I need to concentrate on is the bump right in front of me.
Thanks to your post, I am going to go to bed and figure out WHICH bump is at my feet. WHICH bump it is that I need to step over. WHICH bump it is that I get to CONQUER tomorrow!
Love ya Girlie!
Kristin
_______________________________________
I hope you all choose to navigate the bumps and pot holes down your road!! It's the ONLY way we are going to get to where we desire to go!
When I was at Denver Academy, my Senior year of HS, I kept a journal and wrote all kinds of "thought provoking" quotes. lol The one though, that has ALWAYS stuck with me I thought was pretty dang good:
"If you are having trouble moving a mountain, try building a tunnel and going through it!"
Basically, don't keep doing the same thing over and over if it isn't working for you! There is a way out of ANY situation, you just have to be willing to exhaust all the options!
Love and Cheers!
Friday, August 7, 2009
WOO HOO!!! I'm BACK!
Okay!
Thank you for waiting SOOOO patiently! I had to stop posting here for a little bit while the Biggest Loser Peeps checked out my blog. (Thanks Brandon!) Since I am still wanting to be on the show at some point, I have to be very careful with what I talk about. I needed to make sure that my blog was A-Ok with them. Good news! It is!! I can keep posting, I am just not allowed to talk about my progress in the BL casting process, should I enter into it again at some point. :)
So! Things have been going well! Of course some days are better than others. Being away from the blog for so long, I am finding myself back at square one. I HAVE lost weight though! 17lbs to be exact! Sadly I will no longer be able to weigh in, I had to stop going to Weight Watchers because of financial reasons. They were the only scale I could find that went up to my weight. :( I am not too worried. I just need to stick to my goals, and at some point I will get below 450, at which point I can use the scale I have here at home!
I have discovered that Fast Food is an evil, EVIL thing and should be outlawed in America! Money has been NON EXISTENT for the last couple weeks, and fast food hasn't even been an option. I must say, it's been kind of nice. The first few days were MURDER; I actually feel I went through withdrawals. But towards the end, I didn't even miss the crap-tacular food anymore. This is what makes me SOOOO mad about the small binge I went on yesterday and today. I got payed and where was the first place I went to?? McDonald's!! WHAT THE HECK!! Today I ran over to Chic Fillet!! UGH!! Lemme tell you, I FEEL LIKE CRAP!! They say you are what you eat! Go FIGURE!
So I am taking the feeling this cement lump in my stomach is giving me and am using it as my secrete weapon! My secrete weapon in the war on my fast food addiction! I am going first thing in the morning and heading to Sam's and the grocery store!
Here we go again! Daily goals:
125 oz of water a day
NO FAST FOOD
That's it! SOOOO Do-able!! In Jillian's words "I GOT THIS!"
I will post more tomorrow, I am back to blogging every night so check in for the latest and greatest!! Thank you so much for sticking with me!!!
Thank you for waiting SOOOO patiently! I had to stop posting here for a little bit while the Biggest Loser Peeps checked out my blog. (Thanks Brandon!) Since I am still wanting to be on the show at some point, I have to be very careful with what I talk about. I needed to make sure that my blog was A-Ok with them. Good news! It is!! I can keep posting, I am just not allowed to talk about my progress in the BL casting process, should I enter into it again at some point. :)
So! Things have been going well! Of course some days are better than others. Being away from the blog for so long, I am finding myself back at square one. I HAVE lost weight though! 17lbs to be exact! Sadly I will no longer be able to weigh in, I had to stop going to Weight Watchers because of financial reasons. They were the only scale I could find that went up to my weight. :( I am not too worried. I just need to stick to my goals, and at some point I will get below 450, at which point I can use the scale I have here at home!
I have discovered that Fast Food is an evil, EVIL thing and should be outlawed in America! Money has been NON EXISTENT for the last couple weeks, and fast food hasn't even been an option. I must say, it's been kind of nice. The first few days were MURDER; I actually feel I went through withdrawals. But towards the end, I didn't even miss the crap-tacular food anymore. This is what makes me SOOOO mad about the small binge I went on yesterday and today. I got payed and where was the first place I went to?? McDonald's!! WHAT THE HECK!! Today I ran over to Chic Fillet!! UGH!! Lemme tell you, I FEEL LIKE CRAP!! They say you are what you eat! Go FIGURE!
So I am taking the feeling this cement lump in my stomach is giving me and am using it as my secrete weapon! My secrete weapon in the war on my fast food addiction! I am going first thing in the morning and heading to Sam's and the grocery store!
Here we go again! Daily goals:
125 oz of water a day
NO FAST FOOD
That's it! SOOOO Do-able!! In Jillian's words "I GOT THIS!"
I will post more tomorrow, I am back to blogging every night so check in for the latest and greatest!! Thank you so much for sticking with me!!!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Back to Basics...Again
So Vacation week wasn't the BEST week. But I did get A LOT of stuff done around the house that I have been putting off. I went back to work today with a new lease on life. :) It felt great!
Today was back to square one. I gained when I weighed in on Saturday. :( So I, again, re-committed myself and got back on the wagon this morning.
I got all 100ozs of water in. I had a good salad and a left over chicken enchilada for lunch. I did stop and get a burger as a mid afternoon snack. BUT JUST ONE! Not the usual 4. Ugh, that is so hard to admit, but I want you to know why just getting ONE is such an accomplishment.
Hubby's mom sent us a Chili's gift cert for our 2nd anniversary, so we had Chili's take out for dinner: BUT! I had another victory there. I wasn't terribly hungry, so I wasn't salivating over my usual, a huge portion (triple dipper, ALL chipotle wings) I had always wanted to TRY one of their guiltless grills, but never had the courage. Since I wasn't DYING for the fattening stuff, I decided to take advantage of the Grilled chicken with rice and veggies...
It wasn't half bad!!! I am so excited!! The chicken was dry. Not sure if that was normal or not. But I would try it again! (with something other than rice though, it was too salty) I did order an extra portion of veggies and really enjoyed the broccoli! I ordered the regular broccoli though, the one with seasoning and a little butter. I am not ready for butterless broccoli, it was a nice modest amount though.
Anywho! I feel great and am very happy with my choices. I had a couple really hard things to over come and I came out on top today. So I am hoping I can repeat it tomorrow. :)
Today was back to square one. I gained when I weighed in on Saturday. :( So I, again, re-committed myself and got back on the wagon this morning.
I got all 100ozs of water in. I had a good salad and a left over chicken enchilada for lunch. I did stop and get a burger as a mid afternoon snack. BUT JUST ONE! Not the usual 4. Ugh, that is so hard to admit, but I want you to know why just getting ONE is such an accomplishment.
Hubby's mom sent us a Chili's gift cert for our 2nd anniversary, so we had Chili's take out for dinner: BUT! I had another victory there. I wasn't terribly hungry, so I wasn't salivating over my usual, a huge portion (triple dipper, ALL chipotle wings) I had always wanted to TRY one of their guiltless grills, but never had the courage. Since I wasn't DYING for the fattening stuff, I decided to take advantage of the Grilled chicken with rice and veggies...
It wasn't half bad!!! I am so excited!! The chicken was dry. Not sure if that was normal or not. But I would try it again! (with something other than rice though, it was too salty) I did order an extra portion of veggies and really enjoyed the broccoli! I ordered the regular broccoli though, the one with seasoning and a little butter. I am not ready for butterless broccoli, it was a nice modest amount though.
Anywho! I feel great and am very happy with my choices. I had a couple really hard things to over come and I came out on top today. So I am hoping I can repeat it tomorrow. :)
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Oh My Word!
What a week!!
I have been trying to post for the last two days, but I have had a terrible migraine and my computer has not been cooperating. You'd think with a computer genius for a husband, I should never be lacking for SOME sort of connection to the outside world, but all I've gotten from him this last week is, "I am workin' on it"
SO! This week was a good week! It did have it's ups and downs though. I got payed on Monday and fell off the wagon in the way of fast food twice, and then Thai food on Friday. I was afraid of this. I was afraid that the reason I did SOOOO well in regards to my no-fast-food goal the past two weeks was because I literally didn't have any money to spend. Granted! I didn't go NUTS like I usually do. That was probably because I refused to give up. I started over EVERY SINGLE MEAL!
I got out 3 times this week to walk. I am going to have to re-think this walking thing this summer! It is only June and already It was just TOO DANG HOT most of the week! I bet the morning would be better. But that means getting up early! LOL I could go to the gym and swim, but I have no swim suit. SO! I am thinking am walking is going to be what it has to be. Jillian did give me a couple workout dvd's for beginners. I am not sure I am ready for those QUITE yet! Oh WHATEVER! IF they can work out for 4hours plus their first day on the ranch, I can get through 45 mins of Jill's dvd. SERIOUSLY!! The things we tell ourselves we can't do!! UGH!
This week I AM ON VACATION!!! YAY! I can't tell you the last time I got PAID to take some time off. I am so excited!! I plan on hitting every area of my house a couple hours a day and really getting it spic and span. I will also start this morning walking thing!
I did get off track with sodas this week. So I am recommitting myself to WATER WATER WATER! I am heading to the grocery store tomorrow for good food for us all week. I refuse to let us eat crap and fast food. Good veggies, good fruit, good turkey, good breads and cheeses homemade dinners...it will be interesting to see how different we feel at the end of the week!
So! Yep, in retrospect, not my best week by far since starting the blog. BUT like Jill says, don't slash the other three tires because you got a flat in one. :) Over the weekend I repaired my flat tire! I am heading to weight watchers tomorrow to weigh in, I should still see a loss, not sure how much...but a loss none-the-less and will hit my Vacation day #1 with gusto!! This will be the FIRST vacation that I have actually LOST weight on! :)
Stay tuned!!
I have been trying to post for the last two days, but I have had a terrible migraine and my computer has not been cooperating. You'd think with a computer genius for a husband, I should never be lacking for SOME sort of connection to the outside world, but all I've gotten from him this last week is, "I am workin' on it"
SO! This week was a good week! It did have it's ups and downs though. I got payed on Monday and fell off the wagon in the way of fast food twice, and then Thai food on Friday. I was afraid of this. I was afraid that the reason I did SOOOO well in regards to my no-fast-food goal the past two weeks was because I literally didn't have any money to spend. Granted! I didn't go NUTS like I usually do. That was probably because I refused to give up. I started over EVERY SINGLE MEAL!
I got out 3 times this week to walk. I am going to have to re-think this walking thing this summer! It is only June and already It was just TOO DANG HOT most of the week! I bet the morning would be better. But that means getting up early! LOL I could go to the gym and swim, but I have no swim suit. SO! I am thinking am walking is going to be what it has to be. Jillian did give me a couple workout dvd's for beginners. I am not sure I am ready for those QUITE yet! Oh WHATEVER! IF they can work out for 4hours plus their first day on the ranch, I can get through 45 mins of Jill's dvd. SERIOUSLY!! The things we tell ourselves we can't do!! UGH!
This week I AM ON VACATION!!! YAY! I can't tell you the last time I got PAID to take some time off. I am so excited!! I plan on hitting every area of my house a couple hours a day and really getting it spic and span. I will also start this morning walking thing!
I did get off track with sodas this week. So I am recommitting myself to WATER WATER WATER! I am heading to the grocery store tomorrow for good food for us all week. I refuse to let us eat crap and fast food. Good veggies, good fruit, good turkey, good breads and cheeses homemade dinners...it will be interesting to see how different we feel at the end of the week!
So! Yep, in retrospect, not my best week by far since starting the blog. BUT like Jill says, don't slash the other three tires because you got a flat in one. :) Over the weekend I repaired my flat tire! I am heading to weight watchers tomorrow to weigh in, I should still see a loss, not sure how much...but a loss none-the-less and will hit my Vacation day #1 with gusto!! This will be the FIRST vacation that I have actually LOST weight on! :)
Stay tuned!!
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Over 24 sticks of butter..GONE!!
24 sticks of butter off my thighs, stomach, back fat and big toes!
24 sticks of butter???
Yep! That is my FAVORITE visual for fat loss. There are four sticks of butter in a lb, and I lost...
6.8 lbs this week!! YAY!
I didn't even TRY to lose weight. I am so excited. I just concentrated on being stronger than the Fried-chickeny cravings, stayed off the soda and drank TONS of water!! I started PURPOSEFULLY walking on Thursday for 30 mins a day with my Brandy. All of these small but HUGE things led to a pretty darn good weight loss!!
HOLY COW!! I JUST did the math! A consistent 6 lbs a week would put me at a 312 lb weight loss at the end of the year! I would weigh 250 lbs by this time next year. I haven't weighed that since High school. Now I am bawling again. WHAT THE CRAP!! THAT IS SO EASY!! Seriously?? That is all I have to do?
I GOT THIS!!!
I did fall off my little wagon a couple times this week. I had a week moment at Long John Slivers and then again at Wendy's. But the food I bought was NO WHERE NEAR the amount I would have bought normally. And I did sneak in a couple sodas here and there. (3 cans total for the week)
I did re-negotiate my goals after feeling SOOO deprived. I don't want to fail, so I need to make sure I am doing things that are a stretch for me, but still setting me up to win. So the new goal is...stick to No fast food/no sodas M-F. Then allow them in MODERATION on the weekends. So let me tell you about today...Saturday.
Hubby and I decided to go get fast food for lunch. Usually, I run out and buy it all. I come home with, (oh my, my mom is going to die here)...A value meal, superszied, with a couple/few extra dollar burgers. I sometimes eat it all, I sometimes don't. I think it is the action of ordering that gives me the comfort/high I am looking for. (right now I am REAAAAALLY craving Thai food)
ANYWAY. I bring home my crap in a bag, and my husband's meal as well. Then I just eat, and eat and eat. I don't pay ANY attention to how I feel, or how it affects my mood.
Today though, after coming off a week of slim pickin's in the fast food department, Hubby and I go to Sonic, I order my combo meal, large sized with a cherry coke. (I skip the other bazillion burgers at this point because he is with me and my dirty secret would be outed!) Then we head across the parking lot to Burger King for his lunch.
This is when I start to freak out a little internally....
"OMG! I don't have my extra trillion burgers!! What the heck am I going to do?? What if this isn't enough! All I have is a burger and onion rings!!"
"Jordan, can you get me some onion rings from BK, these (from sonic) suck. They are cold" (they were perfectly fine.
"Uh, No. You have plenty of food...you are fine!"
I panicked.
In this moment I realized how SERIOUS my addiction to food is. NOT just the act of eating the food, but even the HORDING of the food. Do you have ANY idea of how much food is in our cupboard and freezer?? I mean, I am no Kroger, HEB or Safeway, but there is enough food in home if we need it. Regardless, I CONSTANTLY tell myself I don't have any food! (granted, there isn't much on hand that Jordan would touch with a 10 foot pole. But that's a WHOLE 'nother story)
Why do I do this??? I have ALWAYS, and still do a little, FREAKED out internally when someone takes food off my plate or wants to share something. I realize this is not a healthy emotional state to be in, but I have NO idea why or how I get there!
So back to lunch. I ate my Sonic. I had PLENTY, I did not need the 800 $1 burgers to fill around the empty holes left by the Value Meal. Let me tell you, I FINALLY was able to pay attention to how I felt afterward...and I have felt like CRAP all day. Isn't that interesting! It's not as though I have put GOOD food in my body all week, but it certainly was BETTER!
This week I am going to concentrate on more of the same, because OBVIOUSLY it is working!! YAY! I am going to add though a level of consciousness. I learned this next bit from Jillian's Book Wining by Losing:
When I find myself going for food, I am going to first ask:
"Am I hungry?" Yes? Then eat something that will sustain and nourish me. No?? Then ask:
"What emotion am I feeling RIGHT now" Then ask:
"How can I take care and honor that emotion without bringing food into the equation"
Here are some rewards I have set up for myself:
Every time I win the battle over a fast food craving, I will go home and transfer the money I WOULD have spent into my secondary checking account. At the end of the month, I am going to buy some kick ass scrapbooking supplies or some clothes, or a pedicure OR all of it, the way my cravings go, I will have $500 in savings by the end of the month!
Every 3 weeks, if I have lost at least 10lbs, my Mom and Dad are going to pay for me to get my nails done. :) Something I haven't been able to afford lately, and really need as my nails are so weak and thin they split and bleed right down the middle.
Here are the BIG ones!!
When I reach 350 lbs I am going back to Disney World!
When I reach 250 lbs I am going to New Braunfels for a week!! (my favorite place in Texas)
When I reach 180 lbs I am going on a two week cruise/vacation to the Bahamas!!
(I texted these goals to my parents. Do you think they got the hint that I was asking them to foot the bill too?? ;) )
I AM SO EXCITED!! Who KNEW that 24+ sticks of butter could make you feel SOOOO good!!!
I hope this post wasn't too long! Thank you so much for reading!!
Cheers!
24 sticks of butter???
Yep! That is my FAVORITE visual for fat loss. There are four sticks of butter in a lb, and I lost...
6.8 lbs this week!! YAY!
I didn't even TRY to lose weight. I am so excited. I just concentrated on being stronger than the Fried-chickeny cravings, stayed off the soda and drank TONS of water!! I started PURPOSEFULLY walking on Thursday for 30 mins a day with my Brandy. All of these small but HUGE things led to a pretty darn good weight loss!!
HOLY COW!! I JUST did the math! A consistent 6 lbs a week would put me at a 312 lb weight loss at the end of the year! I would weigh 250 lbs by this time next year. I haven't weighed that since High school. Now I am bawling again. WHAT THE CRAP!! THAT IS SO EASY!! Seriously?? That is all I have to do?
I GOT THIS!!!
I did fall off my little wagon a couple times this week. I had a week moment at Long John Slivers and then again at Wendy's. But the food I bought was NO WHERE NEAR the amount I would have bought normally. And I did sneak in a couple sodas here and there. (3 cans total for the week)
I did re-negotiate my goals after feeling SOOO deprived. I don't want to fail, so I need to make sure I am doing things that are a stretch for me, but still setting me up to win. So the new goal is...stick to No fast food/no sodas M-F. Then allow them in MODERATION on the weekends. So let me tell you about today...Saturday.
Hubby and I decided to go get fast food for lunch. Usually, I run out and buy it all. I come home with, (oh my, my mom is going to die here)...A value meal, superszied, with a couple/few extra dollar burgers. I sometimes eat it all, I sometimes don't. I think it is the action of ordering that gives me the comfort/high I am looking for. (right now I am REAAAAALLY craving Thai food)
ANYWAY. I bring home my crap in a bag, and my husband's meal as well. Then I just eat, and eat and eat. I don't pay ANY attention to how I feel, or how it affects my mood.
Today though, after coming off a week of slim pickin's in the fast food department, Hubby and I go to Sonic, I order my combo meal, large sized with a cherry coke. (I skip the other bazillion burgers at this point because he is with me and my dirty secret would be outed!) Then we head across the parking lot to Burger King for his lunch.
This is when I start to freak out a little internally....
"OMG! I don't have my extra trillion burgers!! What the heck am I going to do?? What if this isn't enough! All I have is a burger and onion rings!!"
"Jordan, can you get me some onion rings from BK, these (from sonic) suck. They are cold" (they were perfectly fine.
"Uh, No. You have plenty of food...you are fine!"
I panicked.
In this moment I realized how SERIOUS my addiction to food is. NOT just the act of eating the food, but even the HORDING of the food. Do you have ANY idea of how much food is in our cupboard and freezer?? I mean, I am no Kroger, HEB or Safeway, but there is enough food in home if we need it. Regardless, I CONSTANTLY tell myself I don't have any food! (granted, there isn't much on hand that Jordan would touch with a 10 foot pole. But that's a WHOLE 'nother story)
Why do I do this??? I have ALWAYS, and still do a little, FREAKED out internally when someone takes food off my plate or wants to share something. I realize this is not a healthy emotional state to be in, but I have NO idea why or how I get there!
So back to lunch. I ate my Sonic. I had PLENTY, I did not need the 800 $1 burgers to fill around the empty holes left by the Value Meal. Let me tell you, I FINALLY was able to pay attention to how I felt afterward...and I have felt like CRAP all day. Isn't that interesting! It's not as though I have put GOOD food in my body all week, but it certainly was BETTER!
This week I am going to concentrate on more of the same, because OBVIOUSLY it is working!! YAY! I am going to add though a level of consciousness. I learned this next bit from Jillian's Book Wining by Losing:
When I find myself going for food, I am going to first ask:
"Am I hungry?" Yes? Then eat something that will sustain and nourish me. No?? Then ask:
"What emotion am I feeling RIGHT now" Then ask:
"How can I take care and honor that emotion without bringing food into the equation"
Here are some rewards I have set up for myself:
Every time I win the battle over a fast food craving, I will go home and transfer the money I WOULD have spent into my secondary checking account. At the end of the month, I am going to buy some kick ass scrapbooking supplies or some clothes, or a pedicure OR all of it, the way my cravings go, I will have $500 in savings by the end of the month!
Every 3 weeks, if I have lost at least 10lbs, my Mom and Dad are going to pay for me to get my nails done. :) Something I haven't been able to afford lately, and really need as my nails are so weak and thin they split and bleed right down the middle.
Here are the BIG ones!!
When I reach 350 lbs I am going back to Disney World!
When I reach 250 lbs I am going to New Braunfels for a week!! (my favorite place in Texas)
When I reach 180 lbs I am going on a two week cruise/vacation to the Bahamas!!
(I texted these goals to my parents. Do you think they got the hint that I was asking them to foot the bill too?? ;) )
I AM SO EXCITED!! Who KNEW that 24+ sticks of butter could make you feel SOOOO good!!!
I hope this post wasn't too long! Thank you so much for reading!!
Cheers!
Friday, June 5, 2009
I'm a walkin' MACHINE!!
SOOO excited! I actually walked AGAIN today. None of this, "oooh, I walked for 30 mins at the store crap..." either! I can't believe the difference. Even though it's the same amount of TIME, walking 30 mins at the store vs 30 mins around the pond, it affects my body SOOOO differently!
I don't know if it is in my head, but this morning when I walked into work, I FELT much stronger. When I stepped up onto the curb, it wasn't a conscious effort like it usually is. My swelling which is usually VERY bad, has been minimal. Almost as good as when I take my Lasix regularly.
I AM SO EXCITED!! last night I slept better than I have in MONTHS and I FEEEEL TREMENDOUS!!
Yesterday, I had to stop literally about 12 - 15 times when I walked. 4 of those times I actually had to sit down on one of the benches for about 3 mins before continuing on, as well, I was walking terribly slow.
Today, after only ONE day, I was walking MUCH faster and only had to stop 4 times!!! SERIOUSLY! After only one walk!! What took me 45 mins to do yesterday, took me only 30 mins to do today!!! I only sat down twice! I STILL feel AMAZING!
I am SO glad I have this blog to write down how I feel. Both yesterday and today I was in such terrible resistance of going for the walk. I wish I could just remind myself how AWESOME I feel afterward!!
Thank you all for reading and supporting me! I am off to weight watchers tomorrow! Keep your fingers crossed!!
Tomorrow's blog post will have a lot of info about what I have learned from Jills book so far, like how many calories I should be consuming, plus a new set of goals. I get paid on Monday and will have some money to go to the store with, so instead of macaroni and cheese, I will be able to shop with a bit more money and get some healthier alternatives. :)
GO ME!!
I don't know if it is in my head, but this morning when I walked into work, I FELT much stronger. When I stepped up onto the curb, it wasn't a conscious effort like it usually is. My swelling which is usually VERY bad, has been minimal. Almost as good as when I take my Lasix regularly.
I AM SO EXCITED!! last night I slept better than I have in MONTHS and I FEEEEL TREMENDOUS!!
Yesterday, I had to stop literally about 12 - 15 times when I walked. 4 of those times I actually had to sit down on one of the benches for about 3 mins before continuing on, as well, I was walking terribly slow.
Today, after only ONE day, I was walking MUCH faster and only had to stop 4 times!!! SERIOUSLY! After only one walk!! What took me 45 mins to do yesterday, took me only 30 mins to do today!!! I only sat down twice! I STILL feel AMAZING!
I am SO glad I have this blog to write down how I feel. Both yesterday and today I was in such terrible resistance of going for the walk. I wish I could just remind myself how AWESOME I feel afterward!!
Thank you all for reading and supporting me! I am off to weight watchers tomorrow! Keep your fingers crossed!!
Tomorrow's blog post will have a lot of info about what I have learned from Jills book so far, like how many calories I should be consuming, plus a new set of goals. I get paid on Monday and will have some money to go to the store with, so instead of macaroni and cheese, I will be able to shop with a bit more money and get some healthier alternatives. :)
GO ME!!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Jillian came to my door!!
Well...in the form of a book! :)
I am so excited! I got the book Jillian sent to me "Winning by Losing" I have already dog-eared and marked up the first few chapters. It is a surprisingly easy read and makes A LOT of sense!! She even signed it, of course I cried a bit. It was just so freeing! I am officially a dork now. :)
So! Today was a good day! I probably didn't eat ENOUGH. I had chicken salad and Ritz like 3 times. I know I needed fruit, but I have -$2 in my bank account and had to eat what I had on hand. I did go for a WONDERFUL 40 minute walk around our pond here in our subdivision. I resisted and resisted....I haven't wanted to do something SO much for a long, long time. I knew I HAD to, thank goodness I had the support of my friend of 38 years....Brandy. If it hadn't been for her and her skinny butt, I would have sat on the couch in a coma until Jordan came home. But because of her, AND my ability to reach SUPER deep down and start this exercise crap, I am sitting here with TONS of energy and adrenaline flowing through my viens. Boy does it feel good!
We are going again tomorrow. :)
Again, TONS of water today. I did break down and had a sunkist. But only half. SO I am not beating myself up. I negotiated with my mother today, that if I lose 10 lbs every three weeks, she will pay for me to get my nails done! YAY!! THAT'S some short term incentive right there!! So I have to loose 10lbs this weekend at weight wathchers, Momma needs to get her nails done next week!! :)
I am heading out to read more of Jill's book! Tomorrow will be about what I have learned from her book and any new goals/incentives etc I have set for myself!!
Cheers!!
I am so excited! I got the book Jillian sent to me "Winning by Losing" I have already dog-eared and marked up the first few chapters. It is a surprisingly easy read and makes A LOT of sense!! She even signed it, of course I cried a bit. It was just so freeing! I am officially a dork now. :)
So! Today was a good day! I probably didn't eat ENOUGH. I had chicken salad and Ritz like 3 times. I know I needed fruit, but I have -$2 in my bank account and had to eat what I had on hand. I did go for a WONDERFUL 40 minute walk around our pond here in our subdivision. I resisted and resisted....I haven't wanted to do something SO much for a long, long time. I knew I HAD to, thank goodness I had the support of my friend of 38 years....Brandy. If it hadn't been for her and her skinny butt, I would have sat on the couch in a coma until Jordan came home. But because of her, AND my ability to reach SUPER deep down and start this exercise crap, I am sitting here with TONS of energy and adrenaline flowing through my viens. Boy does it feel good!
We are going again tomorrow. :)
Again, TONS of water today. I did break down and had a sunkist. But only half. SO I am not beating myself up. I negotiated with my mother today, that if I lose 10 lbs every three weeks, she will pay for me to get my nails done! YAY!! THAT'S some short term incentive right there!! So I have to loose 10lbs this weekend at weight wathchers, Momma needs to get her nails done next week!! :)
I am heading out to read more of Jill's book! Tomorrow will be about what I have learned from her book and any new goals/incentives etc I have set for myself!!
Cheers!!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Bleh...
Okay!
So, not much AT ALL to report about on Tuesday. I got a TON of walking in, but mainly from the bed to the bathroom and back!
I seemed to have come down with a terrible instance of food poisoning. That'll teach me to get off track again! It was our anniversary over the weekend, and my parents got us a gift card to our favorite restaurant. (which shall remain nameless) One particular thing I ate, I JUST didn't feel great about. It wasn't hot, hardly warm even, but I ate it anyway! ugh...
I am just pretending I had the flu, but seeing how two others I know also got sick, and ate the same thing...odds are stacked against the food! Oh well.
So once I felt better, I started to work on my scrapbooking blog! I updated the Stampin Up! links and put of new pictures of the craft room. You should look! I have more tweaking to do, but at least it is current now! www.inkydiva.com
Got to go to work! Have a great day!!
So, not much AT ALL to report about on Tuesday. I got a TON of walking in, but mainly from the bed to the bathroom and back!
I seemed to have come down with a terrible instance of food poisoning. That'll teach me to get off track again! It was our anniversary over the weekend, and my parents got us a gift card to our favorite restaurant. (which shall remain nameless) One particular thing I ate, I JUST didn't feel great about. It wasn't hot, hardly warm even, but I ate it anyway! ugh...
I am just pretending I had the flu, but seeing how two others I know also got sick, and ate the same thing...odds are stacked against the food! Oh well.
So once I felt better, I started to work on my scrapbooking blog! I updated the Stampin Up! links and put of new pictures of the craft room. You should look! I have more tweaking to do, but at least it is current now! www.inkydiva.com
Got to go to work! Have a great day!!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Commenting on Comments...
Okay people!! :)
WOW! I just deleted a post that I worked almost an hour on!! Why?? Because I felt it didn't support those that are showing support for me. SO, I am going to try it again, but bare in mind:
I TOTALLY APPRECIATE YOUR SUPPORT! I totally appreciate your tried and true advice on macro nutrients and exercise, and your faith in me that I can DO this! :)
But my journey is in a TOTALLY different spot right now. I the chicken I passed up in lieu of crackers, cream cheese and jelly, was not ONE chicken breast. It was 6-8 pieces of chicken and 4+ rolls. (my mother just fainted...)
The crystal light I have been drinking has been 8 oz a day, this is in lieu of the 88ozs of sugared soda I would have drank on a "normal" day. That crystal light has been accompanied by at 100+ ozs of water each day. Normally I would get 10ozs.
I HAVE been walking 30 min. (4 days this week)
All these things I have mentioned in my blog, so I feel like are some people actually READING it? Or just commenting?
My goals this week were to go
From a fast food binge once or TWICE a day, to NO fast food.
From drinking NO water, to 100+ ozs.
From NO exercise AT ALL to 30 mins, 5 days a week.
From two+ 44oz cherry cokes, (NOT diet)a day, to NONE.
I have accomplished all these goals! :)
My weight loss would have been MUCH more drastic this weekend, had I had been medicated properly. When I swell, I carry anywhere from 20-40 lbs of water on me. This is not the water that makes us look "puffy" on a bad day. It's the stuff that constricts my lungs so I can't breath. It's the stuff that swells my feet so badly I can't get my flip flops on, the ONLY shoes I can wear. It visible signs of swelling, huge pockets of water on my feet, calves, shins, stomach, even my face when it's as bad as it got this last week.
I have counted carbs, fiber, fat, sugar, sodium protein etc. I have done Atkins, south beach weight watchers. I have Done the "Organic thing" I have Ezekiel bread in my freezer right now! I have fallen off the wagon EVERY TIME! I had never overcome my addiction to Fast Food. That is my ONLY goal right now. Weight loss isn't even the true goal in these first couple of weeks. I just was expecting it to be a nice side effect.
At this time, I cannot AFFORD to eat fast food, nor can I afford to buy a high quality stuff. That $13 that I spend on taco bell a day, is NOT there. I am taking this opportunity, while waiting for Jillian's book that she is sending me, to kick the fast food habit. WHEN I do that, I will be THAT much more successful and ready to go organic, lower carb, lower fat etc.
I want to set myself up to WIN this time.
Jillian herself told me, "I don't want you to worry about the macro nutrients right now. I don't want you to worry about eating organic right now. I don't even want you to worry about the QUALITY of food you are eating right now. I want to you ONLY count your calories and walk 30 mins 5 times a week"
I feel a victory because I have successfully taken on MORE than she asked me, and have been able to sustain it (with a set back here and there) for the week. That is not really something I have done before. I THOUGHT I had. But I was lying to myself.
Please don't take this victory away from me. I know you are not trying to. :) Your advice is right on the money. :) But it's a little too advanced for me right now. It won't be long until I will be picking your brain though for more of your secrets! ;) Give me a month or so to make these new goals a habit, only THEN can I make newer, even better goals to attain.
Thank you SO much!!
WOW! I just deleted a post that I worked almost an hour on!! Why?? Because I felt it didn't support those that are showing support for me. SO, I am going to try it again, but bare in mind:
I TOTALLY APPRECIATE YOUR SUPPORT! I totally appreciate your tried and true advice on macro nutrients and exercise, and your faith in me that I can DO this! :)
But my journey is in a TOTALLY different spot right now. I the chicken I passed up in lieu of crackers, cream cheese and jelly, was not ONE chicken breast. It was 6-8 pieces of chicken and 4+ rolls. (my mother just fainted...)
The crystal light I have been drinking has been 8 oz a day, this is in lieu of the 88ozs of sugared soda I would have drank on a "normal" day. That crystal light has been accompanied by at 100+ ozs of water each day. Normally I would get 10ozs.
I HAVE been walking 30 min. (4 days this week)
All these things I have mentioned in my blog, so I feel like are some people actually READING it? Or just commenting?
My goals this week were to go
From a fast food binge once or TWICE a day, to NO fast food.
From drinking NO water, to 100+ ozs.
From NO exercise AT ALL to 30 mins, 5 days a week.
From two+ 44oz cherry cokes, (NOT diet)a day, to NONE.
I have accomplished all these goals! :)
My weight loss would have been MUCH more drastic this weekend, had I had been medicated properly. When I swell, I carry anywhere from 20-40 lbs of water on me. This is not the water that makes us look "puffy" on a bad day. It's the stuff that constricts my lungs so I can't breath. It's the stuff that swells my feet so badly I can't get my flip flops on, the ONLY shoes I can wear. It visible signs of swelling, huge pockets of water on my feet, calves, shins, stomach, even my face when it's as bad as it got this last week.
I have counted carbs, fiber, fat, sugar, sodium protein etc. I have done Atkins, south beach weight watchers. I have Done the "Organic thing" I have Ezekiel bread in my freezer right now! I have fallen off the wagon EVERY TIME! I had never overcome my addiction to Fast Food. That is my ONLY goal right now. Weight loss isn't even the true goal in these first couple of weeks. I just was expecting it to be a nice side effect.
At this time, I cannot AFFORD to eat fast food, nor can I afford to buy a high quality stuff. That $13 that I spend on taco bell a day, is NOT there. I am taking this opportunity, while waiting for Jillian's book that she is sending me, to kick the fast food habit. WHEN I do that, I will be THAT much more successful and ready to go organic, lower carb, lower fat etc.
I want to set myself up to WIN this time.
Jillian herself told me, "I don't want you to worry about the macro nutrients right now. I don't want you to worry about eating organic right now. I don't even want you to worry about the QUALITY of food you are eating right now. I want to you ONLY count your calories and walk 30 mins 5 times a week"
I feel a victory because I have successfully taken on MORE than she asked me, and have been able to sustain it (with a set back here and there) for the week. That is not really something I have done before. I THOUGHT I had. But I was lying to myself.
Please don't take this victory away from me. I know you are not trying to. :) Your advice is right on the money. :) But it's a little too advanced for me right now. It won't be long until I will be picking your brain though for more of your secrets! ;) Give me a month or so to make these new goals a habit, only THEN can I make newer, even better goals to attain.
Thank you SO much!!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Weigh in day #1
Ok. I am going to try to keep this positive. But it's going to take A LOT of effort! I thought I had done SOOOOO well this week.
NO FAST FOOD! (huge accomplishment)
at least 125ozs of water a day
NO SODAS!! (did break down. I drank 1/3 of a diet 7up, funny enough, didn't miss it!)
Walked 4 days this week for 30 mins.
On Thursday, I finally got to CVS and got my BP meds and diuretic. I was pretty miserable all week until then, and Thursday was downright scary I could hardly breath. I left work early to go home and prop my feet up for hours while I tried to get the swelling down.
I went to Weight Watchers today to weigh-in, still a little swollen but I though AT LEAST a 5 lb loss, and secretly thought it would be more.
1.friggin2 lbs lost
I was pissed
Still am
Do you KNOW the agony I went through fighting gargantuan fast food-binge cravings? I am sure many of you do. It helped that I have NO money right now. Certainly not enough to waste on Taco Bell. I seriously walked out of Weight Watchers, outwardly positive but saying to myself as I waddled back to my car:
"1.2 stupid lbs!! That's a bowel movement!! Good thing I pooped this morning or I would have GAINED!! All that work!! It's not flippin' worth it!!"
That is precisely when I started to bawl.
NOT because I had worked so hard and lost so little, but because in that moment, I almost gave up. My spirit was SCREAMING at me! SHUT UP!! It is SOOO worth it!! 1 lb a week is 52 lbs a year!! That is 10% of your weight! You KNOW that it's not always going to be such a small number, stop being so hard on yourself and KEEP GOING! (and here I am bawling again)
WE ARE WORTH IT YOU GUYS!! You HAVE to know that!! There is a HUGE life out there waiting for us to live! We DO NOT need the ranch, and I am still determined to prove that!
This week I have learned that I AM A POWERFUL WOMAN!! Strong enough to overcome my crack dealer waiving his Fried Chicken in my face WHILE jonesin' for that fried chickeny goodness. THAT IS A GIGANTIC VICTORY!! All I have to do is keep piling up these victories, from the HUGE ones, to the tiny 1.2 lb ones. One day, all those victories, added up, will give me the life I was born to live. YOU have this power too.
This next week I am going to start to count points and calories. I am interested to see how many calories I end up with if I stay within my allotted points on the Weight Watcher program. Stay tuned!!
Blessings to you all, and thank you SO much for supporting me.
NO FAST FOOD! (huge accomplishment)
at least 125ozs of water a day
NO SODAS!! (did break down. I drank 1/3 of a diet 7up, funny enough, didn't miss it!)
Walked 4 days this week for 30 mins.
On Thursday, I finally got to CVS and got my BP meds and diuretic. I was pretty miserable all week until then, and Thursday was downright scary I could hardly breath. I left work early to go home and prop my feet up for hours while I tried to get the swelling down.
I went to Weight Watchers today to weigh-in, still a little swollen but I though AT LEAST a 5 lb loss, and secretly thought it would be more.
1.friggin2 lbs lost
I was pissed
Still am
Do you KNOW the agony I went through fighting gargantuan fast food-binge cravings? I am sure many of you do. It helped that I have NO money right now. Certainly not enough to waste on Taco Bell. I seriously walked out of Weight Watchers, outwardly positive but saying to myself as I waddled back to my car:
"1.2 stupid lbs!! That's a bowel movement!! Good thing I pooped this morning or I would have GAINED!! All that work!! It's not flippin' worth it!!"
That is precisely when I started to bawl.
NOT because I had worked so hard and lost so little, but because in that moment, I almost gave up. My spirit was SCREAMING at me! SHUT UP!! It is SOOO worth it!! 1 lb a week is 52 lbs a year!! That is 10% of your weight! You KNOW that it's not always going to be such a small number, stop being so hard on yourself and KEEP GOING! (and here I am bawling again)
WE ARE WORTH IT YOU GUYS!! You HAVE to know that!! There is a HUGE life out there waiting for us to live! We DO NOT need the ranch, and I am still determined to prove that!
This week I have learned that I AM A POWERFUL WOMAN!! Strong enough to overcome my crack dealer waiving his Fried Chicken in my face WHILE jonesin' for that fried chickeny goodness. THAT IS A GIGANTIC VICTORY!! All I have to do is keep piling up these victories, from the HUGE ones, to the tiny 1.2 lb ones. One day, all those victories, added up, will give me the life I was born to live. YOU have this power too.
This next week I am going to start to count points and calories. I am interested to see how many calories I end up with if I stay within my allotted points on the Weight Watcher program. Stay tuned!!
Blessings to you all, and thank you SO much for supporting me.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
A good day!
Nothing terribly notable about today, except that it was another VICTORY!! Yeah Baby!!
No fast food!
No Soda!
Got my walk in!
124 ozs of water (24 of that was crystal lite)
ANNNNND... dah dah dah DAAAAAH...Got up 45 mins earlier than normal!!! YAY!
I didn't manage to put on makeup for work, but I DID manage to take a REALLY long and purposeful shower. It was nice to spend more than 10 mins RUSHING to get done and out of the house.
Breakfast: 1.5 english muffins with cream cheese and grape jelly
Snack: Snack Pack Chocolate Pudding. Mmmm
Lunch: Frozen MC Alfredo, veggies and a piece of garlic bread
Snack: Chips and salsa
Dinner: Foot long BMT from subway, Extra veggies
One oreo cakester, because it was sitting there on the table at the scrapbooking event, and I have always wanted to try one! lol
I didn't have to fight off any fast food cravings today, and I haven't really had a problem with quitting soda cold turkey. I HAVE been drinking one Crystal Lite: Energy a day. It has caffeine. But so far, so good on the soda and fast food goal. I am SHOCKED! But proud of myself.
NOT BAD!! :)
I just wanted to say THANK YOU! Thank you SO much to all of you who have come out in DROVES to support me in this endeavor. I have had people offering their support and great wishes via email, facebook, text and even here. Friends that I haven't seen or talked to in over 10 years, and perfect strangers that like me, that have tried out for TBL and not made it. EVEN Biggest Loser Contestants from seasons past (i am sooooo flattered!)!! I don't know if you will ever know how much it means to me. I wish I could show you. But all I can do is THANK YOU!! I will repay you by SUCCEEDING in losing and letting you watch the entire way!!!
This is a short post tonight. Time for bed. :) I was out late scrapbooking with my "Girls"! Oh how I love them!
No fast food!
No Soda!
Got my walk in!
124 ozs of water (24 of that was crystal lite)
ANNNNND... dah dah dah DAAAAAH...Got up 45 mins earlier than normal!!! YAY!
I didn't manage to put on makeup for work, but I DID manage to take a REALLY long and purposeful shower. It was nice to spend more than 10 mins RUSHING to get done and out of the house.
Breakfast: 1.5 english muffins with cream cheese and grape jelly
Snack: Snack Pack Chocolate Pudding. Mmmm
Lunch: Frozen MC Alfredo, veggies and a piece of garlic bread
Snack: Chips and salsa
Dinner: Foot long BMT from subway, Extra veggies
One oreo cakester, because it was sitting there on the table at the scrapbooking event, and I have always wanted to try one! lol
I didn't have to fight off any fast food cravings today, and I haven't really had a problem with quitting soda cold turkey. I HAVE been drinking one Crystal Lite: Energy a day. It has caffeine. But so far, so good on the soda and fast food goal. I am SHOCKED! But proud of myself.
NOT BAD!! :)
I just wanted to say THANK YOU! Thank you SO much to all of you who have come out in DROVES to support me in this endeavor. I have had people offering their support and great wishes via email, facebook, text and even here. Friends that I haven't seen or talked to in over 10 years, and perfect strangers that like me, that have tried out for TBL and not made it. EVEN Biggest Loser Contestants from seasons past (i am sooooo flattered!)!! I don't know if you will ever know how much it means to me. I wish I could show you. But all I can do is THANK YOU!! I will repay you by SUCCEEDING in losing and letting you watch the entire way!!!
This is a short post tonight. Time for bed. :) I was out late scrapbooking with my "Girls"! Oh how I love them!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
YAY!!
Today was a victory!! I didn't get up early, BUT instead of slashing all four tires because I found out I had a flat, I forgave myself and moved on! (thank you Jillian for that bit of advice)
I went to work, made the best of breakfast and lunch, went straight to the grocery store after work and bought as much as I could with the little money I have. I was SOOOO proud of my new found coupon addiction! By matching up coupons to store adds, I brought a $156.00 bill down to $92.00!!! HOLY COW!! I walked out of there feeling like I won the Texas Lottery!!
The new banner down below, is for the Roula and Ryan show here in Houston. I am trying to lure them over to my blog. Muah ha ha ha! :) I mean, a girl can't have TOO many people to be accountable to...now can she?? They do the morning show on 104.1 KRBE. R&R are AWESOMELY FUNNY! I am always bummed when I have to leave my car to go into work!! I text them all the time with comments, as does most of Houston I would presume, but the really awesome thing is...this morning THEY TEXTED BACK!! It was Roula who struck up the convo, and was evidently intrigued with how far I had gotten in BL8 casting. I couldn't tell her much, I don't think NBC would have been to happy with me...but I told her what I could, and come to find out, her friend Nicole had tried out for a previous season, but like SOOOO many of us, was not cast. She said they kept Nicole's video, like they told me they would mine, and called her back for season 7.
I said, "Nicole...as in Nicole ON season 7???"
"Yep!" Said Roula
How awesome is that!! SO! I am not below a little shameless begging in order to get R&R to follow my blog and journey. :) They do so much for the community and I would love the support of such a great duo! We shall see!!
OKAY THEN! Now onto my other adventure into Radio this last week. Jillian Michaels' show on Sunday. EVIDENTLY there was a "technical" issue and the podcasts for Sunday will not be posted.
I AM SOOOOOOO SAD!!! I was hoping I would get to actually HEAR all the stuff Jill had to say. There were many points in our conversation where all I heard was, "OMG! That's JILLIAN! She's talking to ME!!!"....in my head... lol
So I will have to settle for a tiny shout out on Jillian's KFI640 page. They summarize all the shows, and I am listed in a little section where it says "Jillian talked to callers about..." I am obviously the Biggest Loser 8 reference. Oh well! I will just have to call her when I lose my first 50 lbs. :)
So! I had a TOTAL break down in the fast food department. I got on the elevator this afternoon to go home and I IMMEDIATELY turned to my boss:
"It smells like fried chicken in here!" (mmmm, I was thinking)
Liz "Yeah, it STINKS! Bleh" I honestly thought she was going to hurl by the look on her face. (But she had a migraine and is pregnant bless her soul.)
SO ALLLLLL the way home I was craving fried chicken. I SERIOUSLY had to talk OUT LOUD to myself on several occasions to keep from going to Hartz Chicken Buffet. (mmm) I managed to make it into Kroger without a hitch. Then back in the car. The chicken craving was still there. *sigh* EVEN though I could BARLEY breath and was sweating profusely (because I had just walked for almost an hour getting groceries) my fat butt still wanted that damn chicken.
I SAID NO!! Let me tell you how HARD this was. PEOPLE! There is a Hartz Chicken Buffet in my Kroger's parking lot!!! I had to drive past the dang thing!! TWICE!! I was SO PROUD!!
Anywho! I got home, chicken-less, parked at the very end of my drive and took MANY trips to and from the car to bring in the groceries. This was all slightly uphill, YAY ME! lol My goal was to make it last a half hour and count that as my walking. As sad as it is, my heart rate was already up from the grocery shopping, so I wanted to make use of it. :)
I made myself some Ritz with cream cheese and grape jelly instead. Granted...not the BEST snack ever. But TEN THOUSAND times better than that chicken, or anything else I would have normally come home with!!!
So! To recap the day:
My goals were:
To get up 30 mins early (didn't happen)
NO FAST FOOD!!!
To drink AT LEAST 75 - 100 oz of water
Drink ONE Diet coke, rather than 4 regular cokes. (this changed to "Quit cold turkey" around mid-day)
Walk 30 mins
What ACTUALLY happened:
NO FAST FOOD!!! (yay)
I am on my 148 oz of water! (NO SODAS!! But booooy am I craving one)
And got AT LEAST 30 mins in for walking!!
Breakfast -Vanilla Activia.
AM snack - couple bites of a questionable/nasty can of tuna fish. (not even counting it)
Lunch - Sweet Potato and probably a BIT too much butter*
PM snack - Ritz, cream cheese and Grape jelly. Also a large glass of milk
Dinner - 3 ears of fresh corn (OH MY WORD was it good corn!! and half a can of baked beans)
*While I am waiting for Jillian's book to arrive, I want to be perfectly clear as to what my goals are right now. I want to get out of the Fast Food habit/addiction/rut. So, you might see me eating things that are not considered "health food" by any means. But for me, they are a HUGE step and MUCH better alternative to things I would have had instead. :)
What can I improve on tomorrow??
Get up 30 mins early and put on some make up for work. :)
Plus continue the goals I accomplished today
Wish me luck!!!
I went to work, made the best of breakfast and lunch, went straight to the grocery store after work and bought as much as I could with the little money I have. I was SOOOO proud of my new found coupon addiction! By matching up coupons to store adds, I brought a $156.00 bill down to $92.00!!! HOLY COW!! I walked out of there feeling like I won the Texas Lottery!!
The new banner down below, is for the Roula and Ryan show here in Houston. I am trying to lure them over to my blog. Muah ha ha ha! :) I mean, a girl can't have TOO many people to be accountable to...now can she?? They do the morning show on 104.1 KRBE. R&R are AWESOMELY FUNNY! I am always bummed when I have to leave my car to go into work!! I text them all the time with comments, as does most of Houston I would presume, but the really awesome thing is...this morning THEY TEXTED BACK!! It was Roula who struck up the convo, and was evidently intrigued with how far I had gotten in BL8 casting. I couldn't tell her much, I don't think NBC would have been to happy with me...but I told her what I could, and come to find out, her friend Nicole had tried out for a previous season, but like SOOOO many of us, was not cast. She said they kept Nicole's video, like they told me they would mine, and called her back for season 7.
I said, "Nicole...as in Nicole ON season 7???"
"Yep!" Said Roula
How awesome is that!! SO! I am not below a little shameless begging in order to get R&R to follow my blog and journey. :) They do so much for the community and I would love the support of such a great duo! We shall see!!
OKAY THEN! Now onto my other adventure into Radio this last week. Jillian Michaels' show on Sunday. EVIDENTLY there was a "technical" issue and the podcasts for Sunday will not be posted.I AM SOOOOOOO SAD!!! I was hoping I would get to actually HEAR all the stuff Jill had to say. There were many points in our conversation where all I heard was, "OMG! That's JILLIAN! She's talking to ME!!!"....in my head... lol
So I will have to settle for a tiny shout out on Jillian's KFI640 page. They summarize all the shows, and I am listed in a little section where it says "Jillian talked to callers about..." I am obviously the Biggest Loser 8 reference. Oh well! I will just have to call her when I lose my first 50 lbs. :)
So! I had a TOTAL break down in the fast food department. I got on the elevator this afternoon to go home and I IMMEDIATELY turned to my boss:
"It smells like fried chicken in here!" (mmmm, I was thinking)
Liz "Yeah, it STINKS! Bleh" I honestly thought she was going to hurl by the look on her face. (But she had a migraine and is pregnant bless her soul.)
SO ALLLLLL the way home I was craving fried chicken. I SERIOUSLY had to talk OUT LOUD to myself on several occasions to keep from going to Hartz Chicken Buffet. (mmm) I managed to make it into Kroger without a hitch. Then back in the car. The chicken craving was still there. *sigh* EVEN though I could BARLEY breath and was sweating profusely (because I had just walked for almost an hour getting groceries) my fat butt still wanted that damn chicken.
I SAID NO!! Let me tell you how HARD this was. PEOPLE! There is a Hartz Chicken Buffet in my Kroger's parking lot!!! I had to drive past the dang thing!! TWICE!! I was SO PROUD!!
Anywho! I got home, chicken-less, parked at the very end of my drive and took MANY trips to and from the car to bring in the groceries. This was all slightly uphill, YAY ME! lol My goal was to make it last a half hour and count that as my walking. As sad as it is, my heart rate was already up from the grocery shopping, so I wanted to make use of it. :)
I made myself some Ritz with cream cheese and grape jelly instead. Granted...not the BEST snack ever. But TEN THOUSAND times better than that chicken, or anything else I would have normally come home with!!!
So! To recap the day:
My goals were:
To get up 30 mins early (didn't happen)
NO FAST FOOD!!!
To drink AT LEAST 75 - 100 oz of water
Drink ONE Diet coke, rather than 4 regular cokes. (this changed to "Quit cold turkey" around mid-day)
Walk 30 mins
What ACTUALLY happened:
NO FAST FOOD!!! (yay)
I am on my 148 oz of water! (NO SODAS!! But booooy am I craving one)
And got AT LEAST 30 mins in for walking!!
Breakfast -Vanilla Activia.
AM snack - couple bites of a questionable/nasty can of tuna fish. (not even counting it)
Lunch - Sweet Potato and probably a BIT too much butter*
PM snack - Ritz, cream cheese and Grape jelly. Also a large glass of milk
Dinner - 3 ears of fresh corn (OH MY WORD was it good corn!! and half a can of baked beans)
*While I am waiting for Jillian's book to arrive, I want to be perfectly clear as to what my goals are right now. I want to get out of the Fast Food habit/addiction/rut. So, you might see me eating things that are not considered "health food" by any means. But for me, they are a HUGE step and MUCH better alternative to things I would have had instead. :)
What can I improve on tomorrow??
Get up 30 mins early and put on some make up for work. :)
Plus continue the goals I accomplished today
Wish me luck!!!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Oh dear...
So today was SUPPOSED to be the second day of the rest of my life...but man, I dropped the ball. SOOO soon after I started. Old habits die hard, and I KNOW that if I am given the slightest bit of an excuse to not change, I take it.
Case in point. Today, I am swollen still (from over a week and a half without the proper meds) this affects my breathing and is extremely painful in my feet, ankles and calves. My TOES hurt! Anywho, I am also SEVERELY dehydrated because I haven't actually drank water in 3 days. *GASP* I haven't filled our water cooler in a while, and refuse to drink Houston tap water. (Can you blame me??) So if the cooler doesn't have a full water bottle in it, I just don't drink water. :( I drink it ALL the time at work. About 100-150 ounces a day.
So to make a long, excuse ridden story short... I didn't go food shopping today, due to my meds keeping me in the loo all day, and because I am so EXHAUSTED from being dehydrated. It all just seemed so overwhelming. I did manage to drag my husband out of the house to fill up the water containers, so we have water chilling in the dispenser now.
As for meals today...ahem...Here goes:
Breakfast: Chips and salsa (breakfast of champions in Mexico I hear: and the only thing in the house)
Lunch: one last hurrah! at Panda Express when I drug my hubby out to get water. Of course I went through the drive through as I couldn't manage to peel myself from the drivers seat long enough to actually go IN.
Dinner: Two bologna sandwiches and half a small bag of rice-cake-chips. Go figure, I actually counted the calories on this meal.
There were a few unfortunate Almond Roca thrown into the mix at various points during the day as well.
Just so today isn't a TOTAL waste, I have decided to use it as an example of what NOT to do!!! A day like today is EXACTLY what WILL happen when you DON'T plan! I did come up with my grocey/coupon list, and a menu for the week. So tomorrow after work I will head to Kroger's and go shopping.
As for breakfast tomorrow. I have some Ezekiel English muffins and peanut butter. I will have one of those with some yogurt.
I have a pretty large stash of sweet potatoes. I guess they were on sale a while ago??? I will take one of those in for lunch. Actually. I think I have a sweet potato in my desk at work. LMAO!! So there ya go. Sweet potato it is. :)
I watched a video last week of Bob at the season 7 finale. He was asked, "Do you have any advice for those sitting out there that want to get started?" Bob said, "3 things: Get up 30 mins earlier, go for a walk at SOME point during the day, and cut out the sodas! Doing these three things will make a HUGE difference in how you feel" (I paraphrased)
So, combining the wisdom of the black and blue team: I WILL GET UP 30 MINS EARLY!! I will move from sugared coke to diet (with the intention of being off soda by next Sunday)
annnnd...since I promised Jill (and Mindy) I would walk 30 mins a day, 5 days a week. That starts tomorrow. :) Wish me luck! This beginning part is always the hardest. We've all been there a thousand times! This will be my last! Your support TRULY means the world to me.
Thank you!!
Case in point. Today, I am swollen still (from over a week and a half without the proper meds) this affects my breathing and is extremely painful in my feet, ankles and calves. My TOES hurt! Anywho, I am also SEVERELY dehydrated because I haven't actually drank water in 3 days. *GASP* I haven't filled our water cooler in a while, and refuse to drink Houston tap water. (Can you blame me??) So if the cooler doesn't have a full water bottle in it, I just don't drink water. :( I drink it ALL the time at work. About 100-150 ounces a day.
So to make a long, excuse ridden story short... I didn't go food shopping today, due to my meds keeping me in the loo all day, and because I am so EXHAUSTED from being dehydrated. It all just seemed so overwhelming. I did manage to drag my husband out of the house to fill up the water containers, so we have water chilling in the dispenser now.
As for meals today...ahem...Here goes:
Breakfast: Chips and salsa (breakfast of champions in Mexico I hear: and the only thing in the house)
Lunch: one last hurrah! at Panda Express when I drug my hubby out to get water. Of course I went through the drive through as I couldn't manage to peel myself from the drivers seat long enough to actually go IN.
Dinner: Two bologna sandwiches and half a small bag of rice-cake-chips. Go figure, I actually counted the calories on this meal.
There were a few unfortunate Almond Roca thrown into the mix at various points during the day as well.
Just so today isn't a TOTAL waste, I have decided to use it as an example of what NOT to do!!! A day like today is EXACTLY what WILL happen when you DON'T plan! I did come up with my grocey/coupon list, and a menu for the week. So tomorrow after work I will head to Kroger's and go shopping.
As for breakfast tomorrow. I have some Ezekiel English muffins and peanut butter. I will have one of those with some yogurt.
I have a pretty large stash of sweet potatoes. I guess they were on sale a while ago??? I will take one of those in for lunch. Actually. I think I have a sweet potato in my desk at work. LMAO!! So there ya go. Sweet potato it is. :)
I watched a video last week of Bob at the season 7 finale. He was asked, "Do you have any advice for those sitting out there that want to get started?" Bob said, "3 things: Get up 30 mins earlier, go for a walk at SOME point during the day, and cut out the sodas! Doing these three things will make a HUGE difference in how you feel" (I paraphrased)
So, combining the wisdom of the black and blue team: I WILL GET UP 30 MINS EARLY!! I will move from sugared coke to diet (with the intention of being off soda by next Sunday)
annnnd...since I promised Jill (and Mindy) I would walk 30 mins a day, 5 days a week. That starts tomorrow. :) Wish me luck! This beginning part is always the hardest. We've all been there a thousand times! This will be my last! Your support TRULY means the world to me.
Thank you!!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Conversations with a hero...
WOW! That is all I have to really say about today. WOW! So, many of you that follow me on Facebook or Twitter know that today was the day I got to talk to my Hero. Yes that's right! The FABULOUS Jillian Michaels (pictured at right). Just typing her name brings a tear to my eye. (Oh I am such a dork) How can someone help but to be in awe of the power this tiny woman posses that brings 400 even 500 lb men to their knees, BEGGING her to take away the pain!!! She just laughs at them and makes them run for 30 more seconds, ignoring their plees, tears and puke!You HAVE to love her!!
All joking aside. I truly admire this woman. Everyday she gives 150% of herself in order to bring those around her into a better and more fulfilling life. My heros are people who constantly strive to give more of themselves than they expect to be given in return. Jillian embodies this principal. Thank you Jillian.
So here is how it played out! I was home from church today. I hadn't had $ to get my meds for over a week, so my poor feet were SO swollen, I couldn't even get my shoes on. So, home I was with a diuretic and frequent trips to the loo. (you really wanted to know all that...right?) I suddenly remembered that Jillian's radio show on KFI AM-640 aired live on Sundays. Something I rarely get to hear live, I just subscribe to the podcast. So off I went and caught the show 5 mins in. I had tried to call into the show before, but both times, she was answering email, not phone calls.
TODAY WAS MY DAY!
I got through and her producer Janice answered the ringing phone.
"Jillian Michaels Show. What's your question?"
(me, somewhat hi pitched and excited) "Janice?"
"Yes! Hi! Do you have a question for Jillian?"
"Oh my gosh! Hi!! Yes!!..." Insert a bit here about barely making it on BL8, and the reason for my call, and add in a pretty hefty dash of tears.
Janice put me right through, said it might be a bit before Jillian takes the call, but she would and to hold tight! I sat there on hold, getting more nervous as the seconds went on. Janice wasn't sure how many calls Jillian would take before me, so I thought I had a while to gain my nerves.
WRONG!
"Kristin! Welcome to KFI!!"
"AHHHH!!! Jillian!! HII!!"
I have NO idea what I said, or how much of a dork I sounded like, but lemme tell you, the adrenaline was flowing freely and I cannot be responsible for how I sounded. I might as well had 18 margaritas, and not the virgin kind. (and I don't drink...so that is saying A LOT!!) It's a bit foggy right now, but the entire call lasted for about 18 minutes. MOST of that was on the phone with Jill.
I started off with a bit about how much of an inspiration she is, how I barely missed being cast on BL season8 (which they JUST started filming last week) and then told her how much I weigh. THAT is when the floodgates opened.
My question went something like this...(i hope)
"I have read all the books, done all the diets, and have WAY too much information floating around in my brain. It has paralyzed me. Where do I start??? It is just SO overwhelming. I have done the organic thing, Adkins, blah blah blah...you have heard it all...Where do I start!!??"
Jill talked about the biggest loser and how people come to the Ranch with the same issue. She told me what she tells them.
"Start with the basics. You are not ready for ALL the information. You are trying to drive a Ferrari, when you don't even know how to drive! You need to start with a Toyota!"
(me) "Jill!! I can't even FIT into a Toyota!!"
(Jill) "You will be driving that Ferrari when I am done!" (or something like that)
It was a killer analogy. Did she KNOW that I was a car enthusiast? Nope. Did she know that I had been saying for the last 4 days, "I feel like I am just spinning my wheels!!" Nope. Her words were truly inspired whether she knows it or not.
Jillian goes on, "The Ferrari is an awesome car! But is it SUPER hard to drive! It's hard to handle, and terribly FAST! Not a car for a beginner. But MAN is it fun to drive! You need to start with the more reliable, slower Toyota. Then once you've mastered that, you can move on the Ferrari"
I have been reading her book Master Your Metabolism. Which after this conversation with her, I realize, might as well be the operators manual for the Ferrari Enzo. It is all about the things we eat and use in day to day life that affect our hormones. Plastics, pesticides, chemicals, antibiotics etc. VERY important things, but in the grand scheme, not for me at this point in the process. I have been trying to put this Supercar into first gear for YEARS...
It was live on the air, so when they post the podcast tomorrow (or tues) you can hear it. I will let you all know. :) I was the second or third call in I think. I AM SO EXCITED!! She is sending me her first book, "Winning By Losing" which is one I have wanted for a while now and just not had the money to spend on it. As well as some DVD's and a subscription to her website which I LOVED (i had a free trial) but also couldn't afford. YAYAY!! I am on cloud nine!!
Her advice to me?
1) to not worry about anything but the Math. Calories in Calories out. Don't worry about eating Organic, or about macro-nutrients etc. Just calories.
2) Walk 30 mins 5 times a week.
I CAN DO THAT!!
She said all the details would be explained in her book. What this experience helped me to realize is that at my weight, everything is SOOO basic. It was just about bringing me back down to a place where I felt I could HANDLE it, and giving me permission to start small!! That is what I needed to hear. I am sure had I contacted her about hitting a plateau or something, the call would have been a lot different: what are you eating, how many calories are you consuming, how often are you working out, etc. Right now, I just needed permission to start with an attainable goal. She gave me that along with the resources I need to start is AMAZING process! I can't wait to get my hands on that book!! I am going to be checking the mail EVERY day!So as far as what tomorrow will bring:
I will be taking my coupons and heading to the store to buy good food. No more eating out, or eating crap. I will buy some bulk chicken, hamburger and pork chops. Some freezer bags and divvy everything up! I might even head over to Sam's Club! *GASP* I HATE shopping at Sam's because I have to walk 800 miles to buy 30 lbs of toilet paper! But the exercise will be good, and maybe I can save us some money!
I will also stock up on Lean Cuisines and Salad. Bell peppers, cukes and apples (all Jordan's favorite) I might even get some melons! I will have to cut them all up and portion them out though. If I leave them whole in the fridge, Jordan will hork them down. He would eat through a cantaloupe patch a day if it was available to him! I guess I shouldn't be complaining, but MAN! Fruit is NOT CHEAP!!!
Thanks for reading!! Have a safe Holiday!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Dollar Store Lettuce...
Welcome to day one of the rest of my life!! I am trying to stay super positive here, but I just got back from a terrible weigh in at WW. I gained, how much, is not terribly important in this first post, but it puts me at a whopping 562.4 lbs. Ugh...
My wonderful and well-meaning friends all told me what I already know; Bad week, stressed about possibly losing my job, which I love dearly, severe water retention because I didn't have money for my meds etc. This made me feel warm and fuzzy, and gave me the hope I was looking for. Then along comes my Kathleen (ah, my Kathleen, How much do I love her? Let me count the ways...) Let me quote you her text, but you must promise to read it in a Brooklyn accent...
"That's because u ate poorly this week. Just because u are low on funds does not mean you have to eat shit. Head of lettuce is a buck"
I died laughing. She is so right, and it sucks. SO, now I am back to the drawing board on how to eat well on a severely limited budget. Can man truly live on a head of lettuce a day?? Probably not, BUT the point is well taken. You CAN eat healthy and not spend TONS of money. So yeah, maybe RIGHT NOW is not a good time to throw out everything in my pantry, head to Whole Foods and buy Organic. BUT I can start slow.
I GUARANTEE you that for $13, what I would USUALLY spend on Taco Bell; I can buy a couple organic chicken breasts, a head of broccoli and a big box of Minute Rice (my husband will NOT eat anything but. I have tried, so I gave up on that battle) There would still be a bit of money left over and I could buy a couple of those Lean Cuisines that are on sale.
So there is the nasty truth! I tell myself over and over that there is "NO MONEY" for good food. It's a crock of crap!! I just admitted that I can feed TWO PEOPLE, a healthy, half-ly organic meal, on what I would normally spend on ONE BINGE for myself!!! (Plus I got a couple LC's for lunches at work!!!)
That is EXACTLY what I want this blog to be. A forum for me, and any one else like me, to STOP LYING TO THEMSELVES!! It is serving NO ONE and just making us MISERABLE!!
Don't you want to be happy!? I do! :) Come be happy with me!
The floor is now open for comments, suggestions and stoning. ;)
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